When it first happens you might not realize you are grieving. You might not be, yet.
I remember the day Trenton was born. I wasn't grieving. There was anxiety that built on more anxiety with each bit of bad news from doctors. That is when the grief came. We believed God was in control, but I think the news that he was blind and deaf hit us the hardest. It was heart-wrenching to think that our son would never hear or see. Thankfully, they were at least wrong about seeing, but that I think was the beginning of daily grief for us.
Grief happens in the day-to-day. It happens when no one else is there to see you. It happens first thing in the morning simultaneous to the joy that fills you at your child's baby-like smile and excitement. It happens at meal time in a restaurant when you don't order for him because he's tube fed, or it happens at church when you think about the nursery that he has never been a part of.
It is daily grief over unfulfilled expectations. It is the "hope deferred" that the Proverbs speak of that "makes the heart sick." (Proverbs 13:12)
Those who have lost loved ones experience daily grief long after others have mourned with them. Those who have not lost their loved one but deal with the daily struggles with them also experience a daily grief. Both grieve over an unexpected change - expectations unfulfilled concerning life.
Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in struggle."
Our grief is present but God's refuge and strength is as well.
Psalm 68:19 "Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Selah."
He daily bears our load. He does not load us with anything unless it is the goodness and strength of Himself - God.
Luke 9:23 "And He said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me."
Daily crosses are a part of following Christ. That sometimes means daily grief.