I recently read a blog about how to handle birthdays when your child has special needs. It was a good read. It is difficult to know how to handle a birthday when your child does not seem to really care. Our son is deaf (likely) and delayed as well as tube fed. Cake and ice cream do not mean much to him. He cannot open presents, and if he does, he probably will refuse to touch them other than to push them away due to sensory issues. I did buy him two toys. They light up, and I think he will enjoy looking at them.
It's difficult, because birthdays are not really about anyone but the one who is having the birthday usually, and if they do not care, should we? This year, we had cake, and we did it for Trenton's sibling. For a 5 year old, birthdays are a big deal, and he wanted to experience Trenton's birthday. I was happy with the outcome. Trenton liked the lit candle, and my 5 year old enjoyed blowing it out for him.
I have a sweet picture to remember Trenton's 3rd birthday. Eventually, I hope that he will care. For now, we will do something every year if not just for his brother.
For us, unfortunately birthdays can bring back a time that was very difficult. It can remind us that he is not where other 3 year olds are when it comes to milestones or really anything. It's a faith-testing day as we have to remember that all of this is for a reason even though we wish that Trenton could do the things that other 3 year olds do and enjoy his birthday.
I was thankful though that this year, Trenton looked at the candle. He was able to sit up in his special chair and enjoy that moment. His sickness from last week ended - an answer to prayer. It's the moments that matter, I suppose. If we look back or forward to much with our children with special needs, we could get discouraged, but God gives us mercy and grace in each moment, positive or not.