Saturday, November 15, 2014

Imagine, Rerun, Rewind, Regret

This morning I found myself doing something that I've done all my life. Something happens that makes me wonder about a future appointment or event. How do I handle it? I scenarioize it. What does that mean?

It means that if it hasn't happened yet, then I start creating my own scenario. It's of course usually the worst case scenario. It brings me to a place that hasn't happened, and it takes me from the present. This happens the most when I'm by myself driving or just alone at home. When I come to the reality of the moment, I might hear a Christian song like I did today. What does the song admonish? It reminds me of God's love, and what do we know about God's love? God's love is a constant, and it protects us from the fear of those worst case scenarios.

The same thinking can happen after an event. the rerunning, rewinding, and regretting so easily jump into my reality.

I doubt I'm the only one who struggles with this. I think it's a defense mechanism. It's something that we do when we are afraid of the future.

I remember as a young person using this technique as I imagined so-and-so was going to fall in love with me after rescuing me while we were building a fort at recess. A lot has changed since those days, but the sinful tendency to want to change circumstances has not.

The desire to have life the way I want it can make me lose the life I currently have. Live in the present.

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