These days I often find myself living a frustrated life. I get frustrated with moving details, frustrated with Trenton set-backs, frustrated with toddler behavior, frustrated with myself, and then it goes in a circle.
In this circle of frustration it is easy to get caught in the loop and become a self-centered mess. I admit that I find myself there periodically, and that is much more than it should be. The cycle can begin with something as simple as a counter full of dishes that I should have done earlier and now I'm tired. The cycle usually begins and ends with myself and thinking about myself.
The other day I found myself (once again) caught in the fear cycle associated with our boys being insured in our new home town. I had no idea anything would change, and when it did - it threw me as change often does. I found myself (again) in the morning awake with worry, and then a song came to mind. The song is one that throughout high school our youth pastor had us sing often. I think it was a favorite. It wasn't mine. I don't know why. I suppose I had never been in a place where the words were meaningful as they are now. The song is Day by Day.
Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
Gives unto each day what He deems best,
Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.
Every day the Lord Himself is near me,
With a special mercy for each hour;
All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me,
He whose name is Counsellor and Pow’r.
The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
“As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,“
This the pledge to me He made.
Help me then, in every tribulation,
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation,
Offered me within Thy holy Word.
Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
E’er to take, as from a father’s hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till with Christ the Lord I stand.
It was then that I realized I shouldn't be worrying about something that I could do nothing about right then. Why worry in advance? Really, I should have been saying, "why worry at all?" I know God will take care of us and our kids.
It is easy to panic when change comes or you get unexpected news. It's easy to forget that God is the one who wrote the story. It's easy to begin the frustration cycle.
We can take it day by day because that is all we can see, and that is okay. Let God fulfill His plan for your life and see how He provides.
I'm going to try to stop the frustrated cycle next time it starts.
Take a deep breath, exercise, eat a bowl of pistachios, do what you have to do.
The best thing to do though is to think about God and His ability over every situation, and leave it in His hands.
When it's in the silly frustrations like a counter covered with dishes, paste on a smile, turn on some nice music or an audio book, do the dishes, and stop the cycle.