As I knelt by Trenton and saw his smile of sheer joy, it struck me that this life is all he knows. Sometimes it is easy to feel sorry for kids who have gone through so much and we wonder how they often display such joy and happiness. It's because this is all that they know. The more we know, the harder life often is. That is not to say that I do not hope that Trenton's mind is normal and will someday do well in school and life. It is just that at this time, I love the joy that he has from the simple things. He is enthralled with the light from the window and the way his moving fingers make shadows. These things bring him joy. He has known pain and sadness more than most children his age, and he definitely cries about being made to do therapies, but when he is happy, he is truly happy.
As a parent with a child who has special needs, I know that my joy is so often lacking, because I let the hard days, comparisons, or daily stresses build, and I stop focusing on the the Lord in the struggles. Although I know about the trials of life and the pain. Although I know that there are unknowns and that Trenton has a long way to go, if my focus is on the Lord and off of the worries of life, then I can have the same joy as my son in his innocence.