Thursday, February 28, 2013

The Choice to Love

Titus 2:3-5
The age women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not give to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children...

In the past I read this verse and wondered why women need to be taught to love their husbands and children. So often in books, movies, and even from some women you may know, you might have the impression that this it is completely natural to love perfectly. Since God says here in His word that this might not always be the case, there is a reason for it. It means that we probably do not naturally do this as we should. It means we need to be taught to love. Love is often a decision before it becomes a feeling.

So many people have the mistaken idea of "love at first sight" both with their marriage and their children. So many divorces probably take place because women and men are not taught that love is a choice. Sometimes it seems you hear about marriages breaking up during the most difficult times in life. When trying times come, it is important to remember that God brought you together because He knew you needed each other for support during that time. When it comes to our children, we do love them in that first moment, and of course after, but so often the idea of a new baby has been romanticized, feelingized, etc until new moms feel like they are an awful person when they wake up for the third time in a night, already sleep deprived to hear their baby cry. It is not post-partum depression necessarily at that point that makes them not have wonderful feelings of love for their baby as much as that first time holding him or her, it is a lack of sleep and the fact that they are human. The reality is that none of us love right all of the time. We all need to make the choice to love. Of course deep down we love our husband and children, but it is that day-to-day love that can be so difficult to show whether or not we are surrounded by a trial.

When the verse says aged women, it simply means that if there is a mom who is younger than you, then you can probably encourage her to better love her husband and children. There are probably people who are stronger in this area than others. I was told a long time ago that love is a choice. Since that time, so many things in life have changed me and so often proven this to be true. We have the choice to love those in our lives no matter what the circumstances are. The aged women are to help with this, but we also have the perfect example. Christ chose to love us while we were yet sinners, and He proved His love by dying and coming to life again, so that we can someday live forever in His presence.

Whether you are married with five healthy children, married with no children and a husband who has been paralyzed in an accident, healthily married with no children, or you are married with three healthy children and one child who was born with debilitating issues, this message is for you. Love is a choice. We must take on Christ's example of love even when it is difficult.

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